Alone. –adjective (used predicatively)
1.
separate, apart, or isolated from others: I want to be alone.
2.
to the exclusion of all others or all else: One cannot live by bread alone.
What a sad word that is. Sometimes I see it and can’t help but pause, reflect, remember that it is exactly what I once craved; Complete and absolute solitude.
Sadly, we don’t realize how clever Satan is until we find ourselves in the light and take the opportunity to look back at the deception we allowed ourselves to wallow in, the whispered lies reaching deep into a vulnerable heart and wrapping dark tendrils of untruth around our very existence.
Because I was abused, I believed that I was unworthy to experience what others had. I didn’t think it was ok to smile, be joyful, and bask in life because I had been broken and continued to feel as though the pieces would never be put back together.
Each day we self edit our life narratives, picking and choosing which memories to share and which to hide in the dark corners of our minds. Eventually, those corners become full, overflowing and spilling into our presumed happiness. I say “presumed” because hiding the memories means we haven’t yet learned to give them over and let His hands cradle the pain.
I can only wonder how many others like me, (those like I once was), are out there? How many women are huddling under their secrets, afraid to let go of what has become their normal and grasp the light rather than shrink from it.
Are you clinging to the shadows? Do you wake up each day wondering why you’re even bothering to open your eyes? I remember those days so well. I want to remember so that I can fully appreciate what I now have. The good news is that I no longer have to carry the burden of pain myself. I have given my cares over to God’s loving hands and am flying free for the first time.
Are you ready?
So thankful we can cast all our cares on Him because He cares for us. Isolation is definitely evil territory. We are not alone! Sometimes our relationships are in the flesh and sometimes it is God alone we need most of all. Bless you as you continue to let the light dispel the darkness. Victory is certain!
ReplyDeleteDenise, what a heartfelt post. I utterly believe we are never truly alone. I believe God is with us every step of the way. How very brave of you to want to remember your days of solitude. We should all be so courageous as to better confront our fears.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Denise, I relate to everything you said. Thanks for having the courage to share. Blessings, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteDenise - We can be alone even when surrounded by people...I too have learned to know that in actual fact, I'm never alone, God is always there.
ReplyDeleteThe Deceiver knows that if we feel worthless we can not do what God has called us to do. He works very hard at trying to accomplish this in us. Thanks for the reminder that we can give our burdens to the Lord, and that we are valuable in His sight.
ReplyDeleteWe are never alone. I think that you should consider yourself a survivor and enjoy every minute of your life.
ReplyDeleteHi Denise, do hope that you are keeping well! Remember that there is a great community of us out there who support you and believe in you! Sending blessings your way, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteTouched my heart!
ReplyDeleteWhere did you go? Haven't seen any blog posts from you lately......is it writer's block? Whatever the block is, write through it. Write until the words find you -- sometimes we lose them in the great unknown, and the only way to get the words back is to write until they find us. Hope to see your posts soon.
ReplyDelete